I went into my PI’s office (PI = Principal Investigator) and told him that I was done. I promised that I would follow through and write-up the research paper based off of my results, but that I would no longer be involved with any work under his direction. I explained that I was experiencing an existential crisis and that I had to reevaluate my life. In order to do this I had to simplify my life and narrow my involvement. Pursuing research in his group was one of the things that I decided I was no longer invested in. After ending toxic relationships and an un-fulfilling experience in San Francisco, I realized that research also needed to go.

He asked about my future plans. I told him that I didn’t have any but that I was ok with it. I was going to reduce my class load and take time to be spontaneous. He insisted that we keep in contact in case I changed my mind because I had an excellent chance to get in to graduate school because of my recent work. I am sure that he was worried about my unclear future, and so was I.

During dinner together one evening at my last conference attendance, I probed him for intellectual insight into his life as a researcher. I was on the edge of leaving academia and I wanted to know why he had chosen to remain in academia. He expressed that coming to the US was an opportunity to leave his situation in Argentina and that he had never found fault with science. It was clear that the politics and business had corrupted his country during his youth and had left a lasting impression that steered him towards an “unbiased” world of scientific truth. I was intrigued with his response, feeling grateful for having been lucky to start my life in the land of opportunity.

I told him that I wanted to see things change in the world and be the reason for it. I wanted to see my work directly affect people’s lives while I was still alive. Academia was a large ship that could not move as quickly as industry. I wanted to explore what industry had to offer and see if that was the world that I could affect change in.

He was eager to keep track of me and see how things evolved in my life. With extra classes, research, and heavy relationships off of the table, I was ready to start fresh.