Imposter syndrome is eating at me again. As I barely skimp by my final academic courses, my mind is immunodeficient, devouring me with shame. Are my fellow classmates inquiring about my activities and the monetary gains I hope to land to size up the extent of my madness? Are they simply curious now that they’ve surfaced from the hunt with their job offers in-hand? Or are they secretly hoping to hear about my epic failure so that they can console themselves in the safety of choosing what society has expected from them since they began the degree-seeking pursuit? About half of the class has taken the time to recite to me startup statistics as a basis for their judgement, “informing” me of the poor decision I have made to pursue a startup. A group of job-landers will pompously meander over to my desk and spit out some figures “9 out of 10? And you think you’re going to be that lucky one?”. I feel the antagonizing gossip that casts judgement upon me as I sit in this engineering class on break. Where are the dreamers? Has engineering killed all creatives who made it this far? It kills me to see our educational system produce graduates who channel such insecure behaviors. But when you meet the professors, you understand that the situation is not going to get better anytime soon.

A woman near me boasts to anyone who will listen of a business trip during which she passed on an opportunity to speak with recruiters of a competing employer; claiming she would not have entertained such impropriety whilst traveling on behalf of her loyal employer. But she got their number for “networking” purposes. Oh, how bitter this rat race is starting to smell before it has even begun.

Another is vocalizing about the tribulations of preparing for the FE exam and how it will help leverage her career forward if she succeeds in attaining the certification. What happened to the earnest days of learning out of joy?

Everyone seems to sound like they have it all figured out. They will all make fine corporate employees, max out the retirement accounts and live happily ever after. I appear to be destined for chronic unemployment.