I just ended a monthly subscription for a service I had not used in over 12 months. Why did it take me so long? Given it was an expensive price point of $97 per month, why had I not ended things sooner and saved $1,164 for the year?!

The answer is guilt. The costly service of interest is a digital marketing site for one of my side businesses for which I’d already poured a lot of resources into and had hoped would be fruitful. Feeling obliged to continue paying for the marketing operation of the business, I was stuck in a vicious loop of incoherent decision-paralysis. I could not come to pull the plug on the service due to the convincing voice inside “I’ve got a great discount here on a valuable marketing tool that’s going to grow my business, I’m not using it to its full potential right now, but I’ll get back to it asap”, which became a perverse joke after 6 months of zero usage.

My guilt stemmed from the underlying belief that by ending the service, I’d be effectively giving up on the business itself. The reality is that by finally saying “no” to this subscription, I was able to reinvest the savings into something of much greater value that aligned with my immediate goals. Cutting the loss was not giving in nor being short-sighted, it was being pragmatic. Sometimes there is a tendency to spread oneself too thin in an effort to maximally “diversify” the chances of making headway in one aspect and moving forward. However, although the odds of making progress increase when we diversify our efforts, we deplete our finite selves in the process, yielding what effectively transpires to harder work, not smarter work.

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Learning to say no is a prerequisite to inner peace, self-respect, and balance. It is unique self care in that it protects the naysayer from burnout, resentment, envy, and default on preexisting engagements. Every opportunity we say no to, has a multiplicative effect on the value of our next yes. Saying no is more powerful than saying yes. Learn to say no with panache and shed the guilt.

The power of online marketing is real and its tactics are expertly designed to tap into our subconscious. If you throw multiple dog toys out in front of your dog (assuming doggie enjoys all toys equally), your pup will end up chasing the latest and greatest toy –even if they’re all identical toys– just because it’s the newest object of interest. In life we are inundated with new opportunities for which the vast majority we must say no to in order to meaningfully pursue the handful that matter to us, even if that means giving up a “limited great deal”.

We are not limitless, despite the boundless enthusiasm that some of us carry. Focus on what matters. Developing the skill to gracefully decline opportunities is as fundamental a tool as the skill to seize them. Graceful declinations keep us on the right path by saving our resources for where we need them the most. Next time someone or something asks for a yes and you need to say no, think “I’m saving my yes for an opportunity I’ve already committed to.”